Silence

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1

For the past week, instead of writing blog posts, I have been in prayer over taking an extended break from blogging, facebook, and all of the many other distractions I have. Over time, I have realized how much of an idol these things have become to me. I quickly race to the computer as soon as I get home to check my email, facebook, etc. This is sad. The Holy Spirit has been SERIOUSLY convicting me of this lately, and I am beginning to feel God's true heartache when I don't rush to spend time with Him. My mama told me about this post she read about how we are so attached to our cell phones (for example) nowadays. We would go clear across town if we forgot our cell phone at home. My cell phone has pretty much become attached to my hand. I'm always texting, or emailing, or checking my facebook (IMAGINE THAT!). But throughout this past week God has really been revealing to me how serious this is. Why don't I rush "all the way across town" when I forget about Him? I so desire true intimacy with Him, yet I lack the self-discipline to commit myself to doing whatever it takes to get there. The slothful, selfish, and truly lazy flesh has taken over. I cannot allow this to happen anymore. Thus, I am taking a period of silence. I don't want to keep the Lord waiting any longer. I don't want to miss out on the opportunity to love him longer and deeper now. I am going back to the secret place, to dwell with my Lover and Savior. Breathe Him in, breathe Him out. Silence.


Hannah Rose

Captivating

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." -Zephaniah 3:17



I stumbled across this verse today and was completely swept off my feet. To think that the one who took the time to design each unique pattern of the veins on a leaf, the one who contemplated the function of gravity, the one who constructed the entire solar system, is the same one who sings over each one of us. How can such a great God find delight in a small and fragile human? And it's not only delight, it is GREAT delight! How amazing is our God?! "He will quiet you with his love." That sounds a lot like romance to me. I want to be quieted by his love. I want to feel that peace that comes from having intimacy with Him.
The Creator has designed women to desire to be considered captivating. Women, myself included, long to feel beautiful, strong, and admired. We want someone to be in awe of us. We seek the admiration of a lover. These longings were not designed to be fulfilled by human love and admiration. It was specifically and intricately shaped to be matched with God's love and admiration. Isn't it so comforting to know that we don't need to chase after the attention of others, not being guaranteed of our desired response, but that the one who can truly satisfy our longing is totally and readily available to us, and that He will NEVER fail us? This is incredible! He is captivated by us! His loyalty to us is so astounding....If you truly desire to know how intense God's desire for you is, I would strongly encourage you to read 2 Samuel 22. It is one of my FAVORITE passages, and gives me chills every time I read it. I think it gives us a glimpse of how much God loves us, and how mighty he truly is for saving us.


Many Blessings!

Reflecting

The following is a letter that I wrote to the Lord before I came home from camp this summer.

Lord God,
My heart grows anxious with the thought of returning to normal life. I am afraid that my passion will fade, my joy will disappear, and the fire in my heart will die. I ask that you would help me bring this experience home and that I would continue to live out this passionate and bold life that you have so evidently called me to live. I pray that I would continue to discover each day how I can live out my faith more confidently. I want to grow more and more in love with you and I pray that my love and passion for you would be evident to all; I want your radiant love to shine through me so much that others would desire this love for themselves and thus be drawn to you. I ask for a spirit of power, courage, boldness, love, passion, and confidence. And Father, help me to continue to be sensitive to your Spirit. Help me to continue to love your people and to see the beauty in them. I want to be your hands and feet Lord Jesus. I want to leave a legacy that speaks of your awesome power, love, and grace. And finally Lord, give me the strength and courage to live in this manner. Help me to seek you daily, to be renewed in your Spirit, and to have my cup filled by you. I love you so much Lord God!

-Rose



As I reflect upon this letter, I am reminded of my own personal "theme" or focus for the summer which was to fall in love with Jesus once again. (I honestly had forgotten about it until I read the letter.) I was somewhat satisfied with the things I saw and heard from God....But, due to some events, I ended the summer totally heartbroken. It seemed as if I had taken one step forward and then two steps back. I prayed to God one night, asking Him why He let this happen to me, why was my heart broken when I had asked Him to fill it? My answer wasn't loud or instant or simple. He couldn't just "tell" me his plan, He had to show me. Now I see that my heart was so incredibly weak and fickle. Sometimes are hearts have to be fully broken in order for them to be fully healed. He led me to a place of total brokenness... a place where He truly was all that was left. I was no longer able to commit adultery against the Lover with false idols. He was truly my only option. I cannot say that I am now totally healed..I understand that it is a process. But it is when God's grace and healing power flow through my heart, that I grow deeper and deeper in love with Him.


Thank you Father for your healing power, for your unending grace, and for your boundless love.

Destroying the Idols

I was inspired by a song I was listening to the other day that stated, "Destroy the idols that have taken your place, until it's You alone I live for..." During my quiet time the other day, I prayed that God would reveal to me some of the idols that have taken His place. (I say some because I know that there are WAYYYY too many to take on at once). He was quick to show me a couple of idols that have definitely consumed a large portion of my life. I have realized over time that idols can be anything. I used to think of them as maybe a certain possession that a person is consumed by, but now I have come to realize that idols can be anything. Whether it be food or TV, Facebook or myspace, sleeping or listening to music, an idol is anything that takes the place of the joy that Christ gives you. It is a substitute delight. It makes me sad to think about how many idols I really do have and that I have substituted the potential joy that the Lord offers with an earthly delight. It must really break the Lover's heart when his Beloved chases after false suitors and wastes her time pouring her heart, spending her time, and wasting her life away on something that will never love her back. We waste, or at least I, waste so much of my time chasing after things that I think will "love" me back, or at least, make me feel adequate and special. It makes me sad to think about how so many people in this world, especially women, are so lost when it comes to chasing after false lovers. We have been fed lies that we are inadequate, unoriginal, boring, ugly, worthless, and trite. It angers me so much when I see all of these commercials advertising ridiculous beauty products, clothes, and procedures that will, essentially, make you feel good about yourself. What they are implying is that there is something wrong with you, and you need to be fixed, altered, and/or changed. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?! These campaigns create "problems" with the way we were created and then offer up "solutions" that will cure it. One of the greatest idols in our world today (and I am totally guilty of this too) is our own image. We idolize fitness, health, "beauty," clothing, etc. It must seriously break the heart of our Lord when He sees how dissatisfied we have become with His creation. We have exchanged the truth of God which tells us that we are complete, beautiful, worthy, valuable, and holy in Him... for a lie.

Loving and Gracious God, help me to pursue you first. Destroy the idols that have taken your place, until it is You alone that I live for.

Amen

Beautiful Redemption

Progress since my last post: ZERO. To be honest, I have continued in my same old lethargic pattern since I described my starving romance. I came across an old journal entry and I found that the prayer I had then, matches the prayer in my heart now. I love how we are all free to be vulnerable with the Father. I know that He never laughs at our ambitions, our "dreams," or even our insecurities. It brings peace and rest to my heart.
"We haven't spoken in ages... This is all my doing. My first selfish inclination is to create elaborate excuses for my unacceptable lethargy, but I know that none of them would have any value. I have no excuse. I am a selfish person. I first pursue my self-preservation. I scheme out ways to "better" my life, or at least, what I think would make me happy, and I desire to glorify and satisfy myself above all else. I am a selfish person. I feel so weak and inadequate when I come to you like this; having nothing of eternal worth or value to offer up to you. All that I can give is my heart, soul, and mind. Father, you are so magnificent and awe-inspiring. That you would give us free will; the freedom to accept or reject you... Now THAT is unfathomable love. Papa, I'm sorry. Forgive me of my many transgressions. I am a lowly, despicable, and disgusting sinner. But Father, I have no chance or hope of life without you. I need you. I need you to love me and accept me. Papa, in total honesty, I often feel so insecure. I feel like I never measure up, like I don't have any talents or gifts. But I know your love changes that. I am now viewed through your perfect eyes; the eyes that see my potential, my pain, my joy. Father, help me to focus on you first. Above all, I ask to grow more in love and in understanding of you. I love you. -Amen"

A Starving Romance

I am beginning to realize how truly selfish and lazy I really am. For so long I have asked God why I cannot see Him or hear Him and why my love for Him often feels non-existent. I have finally found the answer...I am not devoting myself to Him (at all)! I make so many excuses as to why I can't spend time with Him. I complain about being too tired or not in "the mood." How pathetic! No wonder my romance with my Lord is starving! I am not feeding it at all. How can a romance develop or intimacy be established when time alone is not spent? A reader told me about this video, and I found it truly inspiring. I hope that you will also find it both encouraging and thought-provoking.


The web address for the video is : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZfOaZz5xl0&feature=related.

Enjoy!


Many Blessings,
Hannah Rose

The Man I Want to Love; the God Who Fills My Desire

Today, I decided to take a look at my "What I Want in a Man" list, and came to an exciting discovery. As I read through the list, I saw how God has so surpassed all of these expectations for me. He has been present in so many ways that I haven't even recognized. And He holds the power to fill all of these desires that I have. I pray that the Father will teach me to run to Him for fulfillment. It is the only way I can quench the hunger and thirst for true love and intimacy.

The Man I Want to Love

"Strong, brave, and passionate, this man is characterized by a depth that radiates from his core. A strength that is under control, but ready and willing to take on opposition. A man of conviction and passion, willing to rise up in the face of adversity to do the right thing, to be present and pursue his purpose. Capable and committed to the cause of Christ, this warrior is devoted to the secret place and seeking the face of the Almighty. A servant from the depths of his heart; his strength is used for good. A man of honor and integrity, he will not tolerate the counterfeit. His tender heart creates an environment for the women in his life to flourish as the women they were created to be. He protects their hearts and emotions with genuine wisdom and concern. He raises up the next generation of men to be passionate lovers of God, and leaders in their spheres of influence. He is greatly respected by casual observers, and deeply cherished and loved by those who know him closely. His heart is fully devoted to God first in his life. He is a man of faith, a visionary, dedicated to the place of prayer so that he can go out into the world with the very heartbeat of Heaven. He is a hard worker, a trustworthy friend, and a loyal companion. He knows what he wants in life and he knows what he wants in a wife. He sees the value in what I have to offer, the beauty that I have to unveil, and pursues me with honor to win my heart. He sees the beauty in people and loves with the heart of God. A worshipper in everything he does, this spiritually mature man of God has specific goals for his life and he pursues them with zeal. Peaceful, forgiving, and compassionate, he seeks to be transformed into the likeness of Christ. A man I can respect and honor because I know that the Spirit of God is in him, he is a spiritual leader, and he will be my warrior when I need him. He is a protector and defender of those he loves and the truth."

Amen